For you conservative parents out there

Child’s College Pledge

I _______________________________, son/daughter of _________________________
being of sound mind and body, do hereby resolve to attend college in a truly
open minded fashion. Therefore, I will not conform to what I will soon perceive
as a trendy non-conformity, just to conform to my peers and professors.
Similarly, I realize that what I will receive on campus will be a constant
stream of unquestioned liberal ideals, presented as fact, and I recognize that
I am the only barrier between these statements and the truth.
I realize that my parents should not be forced to pay for my indoctrination
to the liberal cause of the day, and that as a token of my gratitude for tuition,
I promise to honestly question the ramblings of former activists posing
as educators.
I hereby state that I am intelligent enough to realize that fighting against
the establishment in college may mean many times agreeing with my parents, and
I will not be embarrassed to do so, even if they dress poorly, humiliate me,
or just seem generally pathetic.
Finally, I promise under penalty of perjury that if, after a period of honest
questioning I still find myself being drawn to the dark side of the force, I
will take action. I promise before the change occurs to have a conversation
with my parents, lasting one hour, about each position in question. In this
meeting, I will provide my full attention, listen, and carefully consider my
parents viewpoint. I will not disregard them as out of the loop, old, or mindlessly
controlled by the establishment.
If after this careful consideration of my parent’s wise thoughts and beliefs,
I still think that they are incorrect, my parents will happily recognize my
independence as a thoughtful individual and we will simply agree to disagree,
with no hard feelings or lingering anger.
At this time I will also forfeit any and all monetary payments made on my behalf regarding tuition, sustenance, or even travel to get back to college.
We the undersigned to hereby declare this document to be a binding agreement.
Child ___________________________________________ Date __________
Parent __________________________________________ Date __________
Parent __________________________________________ Date __________
REV 06.01.05 - THE GLENN BECK PROGRAM