Is this ever a sad story...
It started in the 60's with the destruction of our society....and it continues to get worse...
I have seen this for years teaching the kids that I do, but it is everywhere...
People don't want to work at things anymore, they just do what "feels good"...where did that phrase come from?
I think it is caused in part by the fact that people are much more selfish now-a-days...
in part that people want everything NOW, including marriage, they don't actually think about what they are doing...
in part that no one in this PC world is allowed to tell anyone the truth, like "you are going to marry and idiot"...
in part that no one feels bad about anything...I'm sure many people stayed together because that was what you were supposed to do, it was the moral thing to do, but since now everyone is supposed to have high self esteem and feel good no matter what they do, getting divorced or having a kid out of wedlock is fine too...
What do you think about this story?
Does it even matter?
How did it happen?
Monday, October 16, 2006
For first time, unmarried households reign in US
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8 comments:
Medved spoke on this and made some good points, such as they don't count widows and widowers, they don't count the divorced as having been married, and they don't (and really can't) count those who are planning on marriage or are engaged to be married.
But the fact that the gap has closed as much as it has is indeed troubling. (Pardon me. Denny Green just had a melt down.) Selfishness has to be counted as a factor and the concept of "vows" has changed. There was a time when a vow, promise or guaruntee actually meant something. Now the words are thrown about like the word "fuck". I don't think the perception of marriage has changed in that people have been getting married for the wrong reasons for quite awhile. And they've been getting divorced because of those wrong reasons. They get divorced over the least little thing. It's become, "...for better or worse, unless it gets really bad..." or even just a little annoying. Too many are too selfish to work things out, to think about their vows, to think about how such a relationship is supposed to be one of submission by both parties to the other. You see it within Christian circles as most men are keen on the part about a woman submitting to her husband except for times of prayer, but forget what their side of the bargain is. And too many people are overly concerned with how well their spouses are meeting expectations rather than being sure that THEY are. And there's a ton of variations on these.
BTW, Da Bearss Da Bearss Da Bearss
Why the fuck would I care? Marriage means absolutely zero. Astonishingly, marshall has a good viewpoint, I think, on the issue. Its just another case on one group of people trying to force other people to accomadate their values.
well done lilwebb
Scorpion says---
Been married thirty-five years.
If you got a divorce every time there was an issue in your married
life you woudn't last at all.If you
decided to let problems and differences end your married life there would be no one married at all.Today's philosophy that I WANT
WHAT I WANT and I GOTTA HAVE IT MY
WAY and I WANT IT NOW means there
will be many less married couples.
My ex is certified nuts, but refused to accept treatment. I divorced her when she started putting one of our kids in the mental unit with the help of a lying cop.
Oh, the reason for putting the kid away, she didn't want to go to the wife's mother's for Thanksgiving. The friggin' nut put our daughter in the mental health unit OVER THANKSGIVING!
I am now remarried and rid of the friggin' nut.
So who says people have to be married? I'm just as happy without someone in my life as in it. Could care less either way, and it has nothing to do with selfishness. Just that I'm happy eithr way.
Game, I am glad you brought this up because this is a place where I take a more conservative viewpoint in many ways.
First I think it must be noted that modern life leads to some of this. In the 1800s you had the choice of the avaliable people within a very confined radius. You rarely had a chance to meet a wide variety of people. You took what you could get and stayed with it because the options were few. With the advent of the railroad, cars and planes the whole world was bursting with new "possibilities". Options became endless and ever possible. People actually could dream of possibly meeting that elusive "perfect" person.
I think the selfishness is certainly a large factor. People people don't feel they have to "settle" anymore. If they don't get what they want maybe they can find someone who will give it to them. In some ways this can actually be a good thing. Especially for women. Where once they would live with physical and serious mental abuse and admonisment they no longer feel the need to live in misery. That said, nobody gets everything they want and as I have mentioned in a political sense on this blog, comprimise is important to finding solutions to problems. I have never been married but watching successful and unsuccessful relationships with great interest i see those that are willing to comprimise and be more givers than takers are more successful. I also have seen many have power struggles in relationships. This seems to also be a killer. Marriage counslers will note that money and sex disagreements kill the deal more than anything else.
I have two children(dreadedly out of wedlock children) that live with their mother. I hate that fact more than anything in my life. I love my children and am glad they are exactly who they are, I provide child support in large(for me anyway) amounts, speak with them frequently, send them gifts and see them whenever the opportunity presents its self. Still I feel I may be failing them by not being an on the scene father. It is of great consequence to me. I think the breakup of the nuclear family IS responsible for much of our societal problems today. Kids need a mom and a dad. Unfortunatly I must admit that despite my beliefs and my best efforts I am part of the problem and not part of the solution.
Kudos to you, Ron. I'm happy to hear of your devotion to your kids and your acknowledgement of the possibility of your part in a societal problem. Don't beat yourself up, though. You sound as if you're making the best of the situation, and that ain't bad. Good luck with it.
I remember an episode of M.A.S.H where Hawkeye and HotLips were lamenting their struggles with the opposite sex. Hawkeye said, "I think we're looking for a perfect fit in an off-the-rack world." I thought that summed up one of the major problems with people getting married and having trouble. They have this image of how it should be and can't let go or deal with the real person opposite them. Or they may feel that the other will change BECAUSE of marriage, when they should have made their decision based on that person remaining as he is. I also remember a bit by Cosby from long ago when he was talking about first being married. His wife told him, "No more bowling! You're going to Church!" That's a humorous illustration of what actually goes on in some marriages. Delusion and selfishness. Those are the two downfalls of marriages.
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